Most of us, the vast majority, are actually greatful to live in moments like now. Nothing special happening, except it's peaceful. Peace is all we want. It's everything.

At the same time, while I feel at peace, MT feels his mind crumbling. An old hallucination came back to him last night. A reoccurring one, if I'm not mistaken. Only one other has seen what MT has but she can't hear what MT hears. Makes us think this isn't a part of the system. Also makes the rest of us nervous for MT. He's steadily gotten increased hallucinations daily and his sleep is very disturbed anymore. The system will do what it can, but we can't stop an episode. Can only cover it up to hopefully attempt a normal display of humanity (zoned out and into their head).

It isn't right, the amount of pressure he feels. I feel my own and that's enough. But I keep hearing the kid scream. I want to help him, but all I can do is stay ahead and keep him safe from the real threats. I'm a voice in his head that can get lost inside voices he hears all around and inside, he can't always hear me. I'm hoping he ends up reading this so he can be reminded what's real and what's not. I don't want to see him fall apart like this again.

None of us can.

-Trev, James