You wrote: "I just learned about CAPD which often occurs in people with autism or ADHD. ... Her brain probably has a prejudice that decided in advance what she expects to hear and drowns out what you are really saying." <---Thank you for posting that. That filled in the rest of the blanks for me. The woman I knew had ADHD and I was pretty sure she was on the autism spectrum, too.

"What I will try to remember is that her behavior must have social consequences for herself and that will have to be enough justice for me. People must think less of her when she yells at me in public or says innapropriate things like in class." <--That is probably the best you can hope for.