I've been feeling so lonely this past little while...haven't spoken to my friends in weeks, since I've always been the one to reach out to them first and I got tired of it. Nobody takes any initiative to see me, and it's been like that with pretty much every friend. It's so irritating. But I really can't decide if I prefer to be alone or if I want more friends. Sometimes I think about joining a club when school starts up to meet new people, but then I think "what's the point?" Apparently real friends don't exist, so why bother? I've always been invisible in new groups anyway. Maybe it's better to stay alone without anyone, it's easier. I'm also very anxious and insecure when meeting new people so I don't know if it would go well. I can't decide what I want...