I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of helpful advice, but I'm very sorry that you're dealing with this situation, IronButterflyWings

You said that you're afraid to tell your friends how much you struggle with anxiety in airports... that must be stressful. Is there perhaps one of them that feels like a safe person? If so, maybe you could confide in just that one so you have some in-person backup while you're at the airport. Either way, best wishes to you that everything goes smoothly for you I hope your whole trip goes well! Is it a holiday of some sort?