(((((((((( krazibean )))))))))))

It sounds to me like you are in a lot of pain already. Please go to your appointment on Thursday, if you don't go you will just be shooting yourself in the foot and then won't be able to see your T for an even longer period. Go to the Thursday session and talk this through with T. Not talking this through with T will probably be even more painful because you'll know you really had the opportunity to go see her before she left. Go do it!