thanks pegasus.

haha so i guess i didn't need much advice to figure out what i was going to do. I called her. I left her a message apologizing and explaining that i'm not doing well. I also told her i didn't think i'd be able to make it thursday because it would only make me feel worse. (because then she's leaving and it will cause me to miss her more) I didn't say that part though. so we'll see maybe she'll call me back, maybe not.

thanks for the support through this though