Hello My fellow BPD Mates, my Comrads. I'm BPD II, Rapid Cycler, Mixed States. I pretty much run the whole gambit when it comes to symptoms, behaviors, types of cycles. I'm always a rapid cycler, but sometimes the highs are euphoria and other times they are extreme agitation and frustration. I've displayed everything from spending too much money and never sleeping to sexual promiscuity and drug addiction by self-medicating, before I knew I was BP. I go from being an extrovert to an introvert. At times I'm very creative, full of wonderful ideas and ambition.....then crash down into the dark abyss of despair and hopelessness, believing I will reside there forever and ever. I've attempted suicide twice in the distant past, but spent many years slowly killing myself with very self-destructive ways. Fortunately, I'm in a much better space than I've ever been, and I've come to like it. It's amazing how comfortable one can get in their dysfunction, chaos, turmoil, pain and distress. Logically, it makes no sense. But who ever said we were logical? Definately nocturnal, right? One of my hopes is that I'll be able to come here in the darkest hour of the night and find others to share it with.

I've read a lot of posts in this forum that I'd like to respond to. I just need a little time to learn the lay of the land, get use to all the bells and whistles and find my groove. But I look quite forward to getting to know some of you and become a part of the support system here. So many of you seem like such wonderful people. Hopefully, I can be just as much of a blessing to all of you.

Well, this Tiger still has some work to do before taking my catnap (damn insomnia still plagues me unlike anything else). If I can't get to sleep...I'll be back before sunrise. Tigers are, after all, nocturnal too. TgrsPurr.