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or is for the sense of myself i feel when i'm with her?

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This is my vote! I think that in the secure attachment with T you are able to define yourself in a way that you never could before. T and I were discussing attachment yesterday and I have been thinking about just this topic. A secure attachment between infant and mother allows the growing child to make sense of the world and feel safe in it. If she feels safe she can then begin to form a sense of self. Sigh.

I think on Maslow's hierachy of needs I never reached beyond the basic level. Maybe you were stuck here as well?

Peace