Thank you it's nice to not feel crazy and blame myself about this situation.

I think you may be correct in the wanting to cheat or be with someone else and getting my approval. I don't believe there has been contact or cheating though. I asked last night if there'd been any contact and she was adamant about no. Really though, I don't know. How would I know? I don't snoop. I feel so dumb right now.

I feel like counseling is the only avenue moving forward or I can't continue in this marriage. Like if these feelings are this strong for this person, I just don't understand. Maybe it's my failure in providing attention/ comfort. I've been saying for weeks/months I want more open and honest communication as I feel we are distant. When I try there's nothing and minimal response to my feelings or my life. If I try with hers it's like, "I'm fine. Work is stressing me out." Back to phone/TV. There's so many walls and it seems like this other person, a stranger, would get the full scoop if I simply said, sure go ahead and go booze it up and have some drinks.

I really don't know. Really feel like I'm going to lose it. Thanks for your replies and advice. Also, someone asked above if there are kids and no there are no kids. We were trying but had two miscarriages. Which I feel like is contributing to all of this. I have tried to be there for her and share the pain/ talk about it but it's like she's seeking to numb that away with fulfillment from someone else. She wants to have a child so badly. This is just all red flags for me.