Yesterday's session was rough and I'm having intense clingy feelings towards my therapist. He asked me a very point blank question about something that I've been talking around very subtly for all of our time together. Something I didn't really feel ready to address head-on even after 3.5 years together. But yesterday it was brought out in all its shame-covered ugliness and it can't be put back in its box fully anymore. I just sat there with my hands covering my face. I finally told him a bit about how I was feeling and asked him why he did this to me and cried. He put his hand on my shoulder for a while and we just sat there. The end of session came and went and he asked me if this was one of those times when I didn't want to be seen and I nodded yes. He asked how I was going to feel after I left and this weekend. We started the session by talking about my suicidal thoughts and how hard weekends are for me. He admitted it wasn't the best timing to ask me this with only 10 minutes left in session and right before the weekend. I finally managed to remove my hands from my face long enough to pull my hoodie over my head. He said "you don't need to hide from me". He asked if I wanted him to reach out this weekend, I said no, but that wasn't really true. He asked me to reach out to him if I needed to and I told him I would. When I finally managed to get up and leave we were 15 minutes past the end of session. I noticed the next client was waiting for him and I felt kind of bad because he was going to have to go straight from my intensity to this guy with little to no break. I ended up emailing him a short note later that afternoon telling him what that felt like and he responded that he felt more connected to me and appreciative of our work together. Now I'm just feeling really clingy, like he's going to disappear or reject me now that this thing is out there. I really want to email him, I guess for reassurance. At the same time I feel so ashamed and I'm not sure how I can go to Monday's session without feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.