Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I think it will seem much easier to stop self-harming if you can figure out what SH does for you and replace that with something healthier. It makes sense that you're ambivalent about stopping because on the one hand, SH is a coping mechanism that makes your feelings more manageable, but on the other hand, you know that it isn't very good for your body.
It's not really about white-knuckling your way to stopping cold turkey (which lead to a suicide attempt the last time you tried that, right?). It's about learning how to accept and deal with your own emotions, whatever they might be. And that is hard, hard work, so you're brave to even be in the initial stages of wanting to change.
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I agree with all of this. Right now, it's a coping mechanism (and one I've used at times as well, so I get it...). So you'd need to find some other coping mechanism(s) to replace it before you can take it away. Though first, like EM said, you may need to figure out what role it plays for you, as, from what a couple T's have told me, SH can play different roles for different people. It could be a form of emotional release. Or of self-punishment. Or, if you feel numb, a way of feeling *something.* Or probably other things, too.
It's something Dr. T has talked about in terms of my reducing or stopping my drinking. If I just try to stop without having other things to fill the roles it does for me (which are multiple roles, which is part of what makes it so complicated), then I probably won't be successful. So I'm trying to gradually make changes, add in other coping mechanisms--trying them out to see what does and doesn't help (from something like having a cup of herbal tea to taking a walk or yoga to painting or journaling). Then taking steps back from the drinking.
I know for some people cold turkey works best for things like that. But from my own experience (quitting smoking and drinking soda) in the past, I do better with a gradual approach (haven't had a cigarette in like 10 years, for example--and the last soda I tried to drink, it literally hurt my teeth, so I had to stop).
But anyway, maybe stopping SH isn't right for you at this point in your life. It sounds like just having the option to do that, even if you don't engage in it, can help you. So maybe it's better to keep it on the table for now until you can fit in some other things that help or get to a better place. Hugs...