I just got home and he is GONE! All his stuff is gone....everything except his scrubs and shoes for work and a couple of shirts. The scrubs and shoes I just bought for like FIFTY dollars! Money I didn't have to just BLOW AWAY!!! I think he left me to go back to California. He was going to go last week for a couple of months, but he had JUST gotten a new job and I reminded him of that and the fact that it is going to help out tremendously having him work as I have been paying for EVERYTHING for the last year and 4 months. I have supported him for so long and now he just leaves!! What kinda crap is that?! No note, email or anything.
I seriously don't know what I am going to do. I just want to wash my hands of him and just let him go, but I love him so much. He is not physically abusive and is a complete wimp when it comes to getting angry or anything. I mean, he never gets angry. I should have known something was wrong because he was supposed to go to my T session today after I got off work I was going to pick him up and said he was under then weather and to go without him (in an email)
I will NOT beg him to come back and I will NOT stop moving forward.
Yet, my heart is totally breaking and I don't know what I am going to do without him here by my side.
I guess I am just a huge problem. I must have too many problems or something. Maybe I am just too screwed up for him and I just don't belong in his world anymore.
I don't know because he left me NO NOTE!
I called my T and left her a message. She called me back and I am going to see her tomorrow at 10am for an emergency session.
I think it is so chicken @*$& to just leave and not say anything...just leave....WHO does that??? Just put me out of my misery...please!
I am just so full of emotion that I want to scream and cry and yell!

BJ