H knows that I am triggered. I am emotional and highly volatile right now. I know this goes back to around 5th grade where I stopped some developmental things because of trauma. At that time I became very reactive and violent. T accidentally triggered it with the affirmation stuff (at that age I very much did not want to be seen and the affirmation stuff feels hugely invasive.) H doesn’t understand how affirming me can be a trigger but he is angry that T didn’t know it would be a trigger “It’s his job”. *sigh*... so... T is somewhat on the clue bus, I am using my skills to get to my next session Monday and see what we can do... AND... H is pissed. Pissed at T so tonight he makes me look at the background screen on his phone. It is a picture of me he KNOWS is a trigger! He got angry as hell at me when I told him that it was a trigger! So I told him it wasn’t appropriate. Now he is angry as a wet cat but “not” pissed at me, just “F*ing angry as hell he doesn’t know if he is talking to a 3yr old, 8yr old, 5th grade or a 42yr old. So he is screaming at the animals and slamming doors.

T has already shared his strong disappointment in my H and is frustrated with the amount of time we spend in session talking about H. H is very clearly interfering with my ability to do the work I need to do in therapy.

How much is reasonable to expect H to understand about trauma therapy? T will not let him come to a session for several (valid) reasons. I have tried explaining. I am not DID, H is not dealing with alters he is dealing with me at 42 trying to be 42 but sometimes getting sucked back into being 13 again. The only “weird” thing is that I have done enough work in therapy to know where things come from.