Hey @ZenZeta Workplace harassment is a real thing and doesnt have to be sexual to be a real problem:
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Examples of Non-Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
Behavior such as making racist or negative comments can also be construed as workplace harassment. Offensive gestures, drawings, or clothing also constitute harassment.
You should address this sort of workplace bullying in the same way that you would sexual harassment – by reporting it to human resources and, if nothing is done, by filing a harassment claim with the EEOC.
Instances of workplace harassment include discrimination such as:
Making negative comments about an employee's personal religious beliefs, or trying to convert them to a certain religious ideology
Using racist slang, phrases, or nicknames
Making remarks about an individual's skin color or other ethnic traits
Displaying racist drawings, or posters that might be offensive to a particular group
Making offensive gestures
Making offensive reference to an individual's mental or physical disability
Sharing inappropriate images, videos, emails, letters, or notes
Offensively talking about negative racial, ethnic, or religious stereotypes
Making derogatory age-related comments
Wearing clothing that could be offensive to a particular ethnic group
Non-sexual harassment isn't limited to these examples. Non-sexual harassment includes any comment, action, or type of behavior that is threatening, insulting, intimidating, or discriminatory and upsets the workplace environment.
How to Handle Workplace Harassment
Should you feel like you have been harmed by sexual or non-sexual harassment in the workplace, there are steps you can take to file a harassment claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).
In order to successfully file such a claim, however, you have to be able to prove that a) your employer tried to correct the harassing behavior, and b) that the employee responsible for the harassment refused to cease and desist.
Thus, it is vital that you first report the harassment to your employer’s human resources department as well as taking detailed notes of the dates, times, and nature of the incidents.
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Workplace Bullying, Defined
According to the WBI, bullying is “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators.” The abusive conduct—including verbal abuse—is intimidating, threatening, or humiliating to the target. It can, and often does, interfere with the target’s ability to get their work done.
Zundel emphasizes that workplace bullying goes far beyond a minor disruption or small annoyance. Rather, “it creates a psychological power imbalance between the person doing the bullying and their target or targets to a point where that person at the receiving end develops [a] feeling of helplessness.”
And unfortunately, unlike harassment, bullying isn’t illegal. What’s the difference? Harassment—including the kind where someone or someones create a hostile work environment—hinges on being mistreated based on a protected class, such as sex, race, religion, or national origin. If the bad behavior is unrelated to one of those, it might be toxic and soul-crushing, but it’s not against the law.
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The 4 Types of Workplace Bullies
The majority (61%) of workplace bullies are bosses, according to WBI’s survey. But that also means that more than a third are not managers, but rather peers or even lower-level employees. In short, bullying can come from any direction in the org chart, and it can take different forms. Here are four kinds of bullies you might encounter and the behaviors they display (and keep in mind that one bully could adopt multiple tactics):
1. The Screaming Mimi (Think: Aggressive Communication)
When you imagine a bully, what comes to mind? If it’s a stereotypical yelling, cursing, angry meanie, then you’re thinking of what Namie calls the “Screaming Mimi.” This type of bully tends to make a public scene and instill fear not only in their target, but also in all their co-workers, who might understandably be terrified of speaking up, for fear of becoming the next target.
Aggressive communication can include not only yelling, sending angry emails, and other verbal forms of hostility, but also using aggressive body language. One client Zundel worked with, for example, would often assume a kind of power pose in staff meetings, putting his feet up on the table and leaning back before launching into long tirades about why someone’s idea wouldn’t work.
2. The Constant Critic (Think: Disparagement and Humiliation)
When Laine (who asked to use her middle name for this article) got a job at a nonprofit with a mission she really believed in, she thought it would be a great gig. But then her boss, who was often traveling, started criticizing, from afar, every little thing she did—to the point that disparaging emails were pretty much the only kind of communication she received from him. Not only did he chastise her regularly when she made a mistake—or when he arbitrarily decided she’d failed—but he also made sure she never took credit for any of her successes.
She started working longer and longer hours, but “the harder I worked the worse I was according to him... Everything I did was wrong,” Laine says. He told her that “every team is just as good as its weakest link and you’re the weakest link.” For a long time, she believed him.
The harder I worked the worse I was according to him. Everything I did was wrong. [He told me] every team is just as good as its weakest link and you’re the weakest link.
Laine
Namie refers to this kind of bully as the “Constant Critic.” They may not yell at you to your face or in front of other people, but they’ll disparage you so regularly that you begin to doubt your abilities and wear you down so much that the quality of your work might objectively suffer. Laine, for example, became so petrified of what the next email would say that she stopped checking, and her performance went downhill in other ways, too. Ultimately, she was fired.
The bully might humiliate you one-on-one or in public by pointing out your mistakes, taking credit for your work, leaving you out of things, socially isolating you, or even playing jokes on you, says Zundel.
3. The Gatekeeper (Think: Manipulation and Withholding of Resources)
One of the most frustrating aspects of Laine’s experience was that her boss routinely criticized her for doing things wrong or differently when he never gave her instructions in the first place. In some cases, he got angry she hadn’t performed tasks he’d never told her to tackle.
Some bullies manipulate their targets and withhold resources—whether that’s instructions, information, time, or help from others—setting you up to fail. They might only tell you about three steps of process when there are actually five, Zundel says, or pile so much work on you that there’s no reasonable way for you to complete it by the deadline. They might give you a poor performance review when your work isn’t actually so poor or punish you for being one minute late to a meeting (when others who are tardy don’t face any repercussions).
The gatekeeper, Namie points out, can also be a peer or a subordinate, if they “forget” to invite you to an important call or pass on pertinent details that will prevent you from doing your job.
4. The Two-Headed Snake (Think: Behind-the-Scenes Meddling)
One of the most difficult kinds of bullies to detect—and therefore deal with—is the one who pretends to be your friend and champion while undermining you behind your back. “They're controlling your reputation with others. They are tearing you to shreds,” Namie says, calling you “unreliable, unskilled, un-this, un-that. Whereas to your face, they're your friends.”
You might eventually find out if someone breaks rank and tips you off, but often the bully will ask people to keep their remarks confidential. It goes without saying that it’s hard to combat something you don’t even know is happening.
Why Workplace Bullies Get Away With It
Bullies are often high performers. They might be a top salesperson who brings in huge deals worth millions or a brilliant engineer who’s always coming up with efficient solutions or a marketer who managed to double a site’s traffic. Whatever it is, they’re bringing value to the company, which means the company has an incentive to keep them onboard (and happy).
Some bullies also work to ingratiate themselves to their superiors (and perhaps their peers, too)—even as they abuse one or more of the folks they oversee or work with. Put all that together, and instead of being held accountable for their bullying behavior, they might be getting rewarded with praise, raises, or promotions—and you might be all the more intimidated by the prospect of casting a shadow on such a star.
Without the work environment giving the green light, providing the license to unbridled mistreatment, bullying wouldn't happen.
Gary Namie
The bottom line is that bullies get away with their behavior mostly because of the company and the culture it fosters. “We want to look at the personalities of the perpetrators and say, well that explains it all. No it doesn't. What really explains it is the work environment that provided the opportunities,” Namie says, the one that allowed these people to get hired in the first place and then to bully with impunity. “Without the work environment giving the green light, providing the license to unbridled mistreatment, bullying wouldn't happen.”
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Your Complete Guide to Dealing With Workplace Bullies - The Muse
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Originally Posted by ZenZeta
I'll try to keep this short...
I've had an ongoing saga with a coworker that has gone WAY beyond it's boiling point. This woman is insecure, malicious and downright mean... and brags about it. Her first words to me when I started 4 years ago was "I got rid of the last girl that looked like you  " To that I responded, "Not this girl"
I worked to befriend this woman and even supported her when others didn't only to have it backfire on my several times over. I finally realized that there was no reasoning with this Narcissist and made the conscious choice to end the abuse and break ties with her after one Gaslighting session too many.
She responded to this by telling another coworker of ours LIES about things that I had said about her -- even accusing me of saying that she was trying to take my job.
I finally had enough and asked to move offices which seemed to work. My peace and productivity increased, and I thought all was well... until I was summoned to HR regarding a door slamming incident.
I took the opportunity at that HR meeting to not only admit that I slammed the door, but to FULLY disclose what led to said door slamming which left little Miss Bully in tears because she wasn't prepared for me to be in the driver's seat of the bus she tried to roll over me.
So now, despite being in another building and doing all I can to avoid interaction with her as much as possible, she seems to find a way to "pick" at me... either through passive aggressive emails (which she copies our boss on) or continuing to spread rumors about me (apparently my promotion has gone to my head).
Now our boss wants us to all go out to dinner together, and I JUST DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!! As a new manager, I know it would look really bad to not go, but the thought of having to play nice with this woman WHILE I'M EATING is not appealing at all.
Isn't there a line where being the better person stops? I've done it for longer than I'd care to, and it seems like she's not being held accountable for her part.
So... should I just suck it up or catch her after hours off property (kidding --- kinda) |
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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