So, this is an interesting topic on any number of levels. First, while "true transsexuality" is supposed to be rare, it is not nearly as limited as many think. Affecting both "genders" it is still something that as Teresa put it would take up a significant amount of your life. It effect's nearly as many "females" as it does "males" but because the process is different crossing the divide, so called FTM's appear less frequently than MTF's. I spent the vast majority of my early life in horrific pain and working far harder to fit a role I was told I had to. While yes, I suffered horrific abuse when I was a child, it didn't make me a transsexual. Was just something I was born with.
Yes, I am, well was, a transsexual. Took me a bunch of time, energy, soul searching and more but now, I'm just a girl likeany other.

Orientation is on the other hand, something completely different and unrelated to gender. Who we like, or don't, sleep with or not, is a function of a completely different part of the brain. While it can at times be affected by things like abuse, it too is usually something innate as well. Now the difference here is abuse can impact our orientation, for years I swore I was a card carrying lesbain. I have not had that many relationships in my life, all but one were with women. In fact, I was engaged to a woman for a while, who broke up with me because "I'm not ready to be outted to my folks yet, and if I walk in with YOU they'll KNOW I'm a lesbian." and that as they say was that.

Between GID and abuse, I had a road in front of me. Dealing with them, and coming to terms with my history, showed me why I married the guy I did (he was JUST like my Dad) and have allowed me to put gender pretty much behind me.

Mind you, my husband was (he's dead now) FTM, and when we got married it was such a backasswards and confused thing. He was pretending to be the bride, I the groom, and just wow. We both knew each others secrets, and we did the best we could.

Gender and orientation are BOTH spectrums, not binary conditions. Narrow minded people who are frightened by what they don't know, understand, or accept within themselves is what makes such a mess of things. Think of it like a 0 to 100 scale for both, and find your way to a space that works for you.

It's perfectly okay to be a gay man stuck in a female body. If you're a top as they call it, life can be a bit more difficult, but if you're a bottom, then there should be no problems. The other possibility is you are a butch "fag hag" as the saying goes. Think of Grace from Will and Grace.

Freedom my young Jedi is what most you seek! Freedom to live and be yourself and not stuck with the world perceptions of yourself. Prefer guys clothes, life, outlook? Rock it. Prefer Gay men as sex partners, again, rock it. Whatever works for you.

What most I learned about gender and orientation in my life is they both are labels for someone else perceptions of our lives. Taking our feelings, our hearts, our truths back from the rest of the world is the hard part that takes patience, understanding and courage.

While being mostly straight or at best bi leaning I've never had a question about my gender. It was everyone else that had things confused and tried to make it my problem. Gender however, is, in many ways as Diana Cage (Sirius OutQ) puts it, performance art. Orientation is less performance (unless you like the bending, "queer" look) and more about who our hearts tend to be drawn to for whatever reason.

Let yourself live, breath, love and let someone else worry about the labels. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. As to "gender change" itself, well not for the faint of heart, or those who are just curious. It's not a choice it's a treatment, one that works amazingly well for people who are indeed suffering from a medical condition known as Transsexualtiy. Like Teresa said, you'd know, it would grow into the force and place in your life from which you cannot escape. Like a black hole it would consume you.

On the other hand, being somewhere between 0 and 100% male or female, gay or straight, is something only you can truly figure out for yourself. There is no hurry, and you can take ownership of your own heart and life and be anyone you want to. With or without surgery, mormones or SOMEONE ELSE'S permission.

Now, that said, if you are under 18, you will need your folks help and support.

Parents, let you children find their way to who they are. Someone has said being Trans is trendy. Me, I don't see it, but the best thing you can do for your children is love them and support them. Son likes girl's things? Daughter is a Tomboy? There is a certain amount of curiosity inherent in growing up. Let them run with it. If they are trans, well they'll let you know.

Me, I was kicked out of kindergarten and sat my parents down and asked if they could take me to the doctor so that he could fix me. I've never had a question about my gender, taking "ownership" of it on the otherhand took many years, time, money and an investment in myself. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'm finally happy where I am in life, at least as far as gender and orientation go, the long term damage caused by a lifetimes worth of struggle, not so much.

Wow, this got long fast... Sorry about that, had more to say than I thought I did...