Well, still couldn't fall asleep last night until I had been up for about 24 hours or so, but once I did, I managed to sleep for about 5 hours uninterrupted--a huge victory in my current world. What I don't know is if the Thorazine and Depakote I took at 9 pm had anything to do with those 5 hours. Will have to ask the pdoc Monday.

Anyway, maybe if I can keep this part going, I can then address the falling asleep part and get that fixed. Then, I could maybe be in good shape. Still have to deal with the trauma, though.

That said, interestingy enough, I woke up feeling extremely anxious and awful emotionally. Immediately started thinking about how much financial flexibility I once had and how little I now have and it felt bad. Felt like failure. But then, I did some quickie CBT and remembered that I am doing the best I can in my situation and that anyone who had gone through what I have been through would almost certainly be way, way worse off--possibly homeless.

So, I'm okay now. Accept reality. Do what you can. Don't have unrealistic expectations. You have an incurable, life-threatening illness of the brain. Remember that. That's what I try to do.

Hugs and love to all.