It's really addictive. It's not much of a pain killer being only a partial blocker. I would say it downright sucks, but meh, I used to love the heck out of that crap.

Both Tramadol and bup have longer comedowns than other opioids. Like Tramadol is about 6x that of heroin and bup is like 3x. Tramadol will not make you heroin type of sick, but bup can come close to it. And yea, coming off Tramadol is like coming off 2 drugs, totally correct. It's horrid. Found 2 of my friends also struggling, trying my best to support them.

I knew of course the risk of addiction. But opioids take fear away so... yea. You stop being afraid of the addiction.

Unfortunately I have known all my life, this class of drug fits me so well. People usually don't get THAT much out of Tramadol, but it was perfect for me.

I will totally miss the fear free years I had. I mean, I have anti anxiety meds, they help too, but there is some weird difference how anti anx meds make you calm and opioids make you feel safe. It's like being hugged by God.

I feel a little sad that I will never be "happy" again, not in that way the drug showed me.

Still I came far, a few months ago my plan was like upgrading to harder drugs and basically run my life into the ground.

Suffering from a bit of a relapse on bup, was short time small dosages, but still got my body to expecting the drug. First few days off violent shivers, fever, sweating, vomiting... yup the whole opi deal... Since this stuff has quite prolonged withdrawals I can expect at least 1-2 weeks more of suffering. Not as bad. But still severe nausea, sweats, bad stomach pain etc. I shower and get new clothes on when I feel safe to be in the shower, so not every day. So I hope for a good day tomorrow because I can't wait to shower this grime off. Like waking and your clothes are soaked through. Ugh.

I have respect whoever quit any of these 2 drugs. For some it actually isn't THAT bad, but for many, it's hell.

Everytime they make a new less addictive med they created a worse one! That is how we have heroin. Was actually offered heroin (free), but I actually somehow managed to back away.

Was still recovering from the Tramadol when the small sub relapse happened. So even if I had been without for weeks, I was still in a quite bad shape. Tramadol withdrawals will wax and wane and fool you it is over. It's not. You go through the same stuff 3-6 times. So yea I pretty much messed up something I had functioning even if some days were hard still. Not gonna feel bad about that. What I go through now is punishment enough.

Quitting has been on my mind for quite some time, so it's not something that is as recent as it sounds. But the final steps are the hardest.

TG for kratom. Sporadic use not to be hooked on that instead but man, it helps. If it wasn't for kratom, I wouldn't stand a chance.