Have you gone to the same IP each time? I know mine always reviews my previous stays.. If you have been numerous places someone might miss the “ episode” or “ shifts” like Blue mentioned, maybe you didn’t share everything you were feeling by choice or your brain just didn’t let you go there.

You don’t have to be “ manic” like you see on TV ads. Buying stuff or enjoying a glorious shiny world where you “ hear” colors because they are so vivid

My “Mania” is ugly , dark , rage-y , I loath myself, I hate myself

PTSD can mimic BP symptoms in many ways..

You have posted here in what I thought a psychotic state but I’m no Doctor.