this post is mostly for the sake of venting:

so here is the thing:
i met this friend on the internet. and we got really connected she became my like my other (in additional to the best friend i already had)
she was someone iknewi could trust with anything
and she knew it she could trust me

the thing she had feeling for me, and not to long ago we decided to go into a long distance relatiionship.

howerver it was very short lived:

and about a day ago she told she wanna go back together.

i told u would think about it, but it was mostly becuse i wanted to tell her this in a voice chat not in text.

here is were things getting messy, about a day ago her best friend stopped replying to her. she gone missing for two days

were do i come in:in all this she asked me again about "us" i wanted to pospone my reply untill A. we can talk on voice chat B. untill she done mourning. but she pressed and i didnt want to lie so eventually she deducted that i dont want to.

at worse when she asked why, i really didnt want to tell het this at that point but well she deserves to know.

needles its hurts her.

and i feel awfull about it. becuse not she needs to deal with the death of her best friend (for the third time) now she also have my bombshell thrown right on top of that.

i feell awfully guilty about that.
and its not just guilt, i feel guilty for telling her that in the worset timing that could possibly be, i feel sorry for her loosing her best friend. i feel remorse for the father who was a single parent to an only child witch means he now being left completly (he went trough a hard attack today).

and now she stops replying to me. so im also scared, scared she might have done something to herself.

or just decided to stop talkng to me.

and im helpless to do anything about it.