Yeah, you're not going to be able to change your wife's thoughts towards this woman, or her desires for an affair of sorts. I don't think couples counseling will do much at this stage unless you wish to part more amicably. I would try to be as honest with yourself as possible: is this what you truly want in a marriage? A wife who wants to be with someone else? A wife who wants a more open marriage so she can do as she pleases? What are you holding onto? The old days? Time to get honest, get clear and see a clear path ahead for yourself. I'm truly sorry this is happening. I'm sure it's very painful. It's never easy ending a relationship, or thinking you may need to end it, especially a marriage that you've committed your life to. I feel for you. I hope you can gain some clarity through this. Hugs.