So now anger about fT is leaving and sadness is taking its place....

But theres still mT... i.... m..... still stupidly waiting for his answer by email. I cant believe he wont answer. Deadline is feb 13, when we should have met accordingly to his last text. If past that i wont have heard from him at all... then i guess it will all be done and over with for good... but mT cant leave me lile this... not him, not like this... he had promised me... he must keep his word.

I have huge issues with trust. He was one i could believe in and trust... if its not him, its nobody and my issues with trust (not mT or fT) will have cured that a little bit. I can trust nobody. My mom taught me that when i was very little... maybe it was a good lesson to learn...