Within the study of the Psychological Theories of Motivation, we all tend to experience either the fear of success and/or the fear of failure.

We do not need to have special challenges in order to experience these.

That said, I, too, commend you for moving forward!

Managing ourselves is a matter of finding/keeping balance. This is a challenge in an of itself. It can be done, however, and three friends here have shared their own experiences with this just above in their posts.

I do not feel like I did a very good job with balance; I just had too much going on and was very overwhelmed. I needed to free myself from the demands/expectations of others in order to find my own sense of balance in every way. fern makes an excellent point about potentially thriving most when we are most balanced in these three areas of our lives : physical, mental, spiritual. I find this to be true for me. As curve balls continue to be hurled my way, I continue to find that place of balance. We all have these curve balls to contend with.

I absolutely agree with bpcyclist's suggestion re: keeping a mood chart or some kind of a record which helps you to self-monitor a bit. You might think of additional approaches which may work well for you. You might also enlist the feedback from friends/others who know you in hopes of catching any sign/symptom early. It is important to do so, without overreacting. It takes time to know more about yourself.

I feel you are very courageous! I can celebrate with someone who has been through what you have been through and continues to want to achieve her goals!
Sometimes, people are too downtrodden by the experiences they endure with BP illness.

I want to mention a very special woman to you. She lives with BPI and has had some extreme episodes. However, she continues her work and is held in very high esteem by her colleagues and by society in general. Please do take a look at her info and, possibly, her books. I highly recommend them!
I think her story might inspire you even further!

Kay Redfield Jamison - Wikipedia

Please do continue to reach out for support!
I hope to hear more from you as you continue your journey!

You have inspired me today!
With Love and Gratitude