Thanks here today. Yes, I agree sometimes expectations are too high and lead to disappointment. When it comes to counselling and therapy I though think that one of the basics is the counselor or therapist being able to meet what´s actually being brought to him/her.
I understand if my counselor acts this way in the beginning and perhaps she´s unsure how much she can ask and so on. But if she keeps answering me in such general terms I think we could just take about the weather or whatever comes to mind.
She knows in detail what I need and want to talk about as I wrote a suggestion for a care plan and gave it to her. She knows I have deeper issues and in this document I wrote about feeling grief, having suicidal thoughts and so on.
I´m sorry your counselor wasn´t the best fit but as you describe it you could perhaps gain something from her anyway. Is she a CBT therapist? It sounded a bit like she´s focused on goals more than meeting you on an emotional level.
What kind of issues did you present to her? If you want to share.
I´ve now told my social secretary about how I feel about being a patient within psychiatry and not getting better. I´ll se what she answers to that and if she has some solution to my need for sick leave.
I agree there can be some benefits from seeing this counselor but I also see it can be damaging if I tell her about personal and painful issues and she keeps answering in this general manner.
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Originally Posted by here today
Disappointment is a response to expectations that didn't work out. One can hold onto expectations, even if people aren't behaving that way, frequently because we feel we need what we are expecting or because we believe that what we are expecting is right, or something similar.
But reality is reality, how she handles things is how she handles it. Can you learn anything from her about where she is coming from by the way she handles things? If you don't understand, can you ask?
You've been repeatedly disappointed by therapists, as have I. I didn't like the counselor I went to see last week, but I'm going try what she suggested -- I found a way it fits in with what I want, even though I think she suggested it for another reason. And I'm going back. She suggested we try 3 visits. Maybe I can find a way to use what she says in a way that works for me. And even though I don't like her and find her far too directive and authoritarian for my taste, she also said that she was going to do what I asked for -- give me feedback about how I come across. I'll see. Got no hard and fast expectations she'll actually do that, but we'll see. And maybe I'll get something else out of it if she doesn't, again I'll see.
I've got a "defense" these days against her authoritarianism -- I know I don't like it and I no longer feel like I have to like her in order to go back and try to get something from her. That's different from your situation, I know, and different from what most people want from a therapist. Also very different from how I was with therapists in the past.
I tried and tried and there is no therapy, or therapist that I could find, for me. So, I'm going to try to take what I can get and see if I can make something from it. I'll only lose the cost of 3 sessions, and her fees are relatively low. If it doesn't work, I may try somebody else, or I may not. One step at a time.
Given that you may lose sick leave benefits if you don't see someone for treatment, I hope you can find a way within yourself to accept the way she is and try to find something positive in what she is trying to offer.
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