Wanting to kill yourself because of their non-response really highlights how you were not ready to stop therapy, sinking.

IF you were really okay with ending it with them, you would not be that affected.

Instead, experiencing that amount of distress and your current expectations, suggests that maybe you were testing them... or wanting them to plead with you to stay with them. This (for any decent professional) will not happen. IF you state you want to leave, most will respect that and let you go. However they feel about it, they will not chase you.