I know I've shared that my strategy for bipolar wellness is balance and self care for my spiritual, mental, emotional and physical states, but what does that really even mean? I ran across this article the other day. I feel it offers a helpful introduction for anyone interested.

The Four Bodies | Goop

My theory for my own breakdown is that repressed core emotional trauma surfaced at a time when I was quite mentally stressed and spiritually and physically imbalanced. Another member mentioned this yesterday as her experience and I resonate with it. It was the perfect storm.

I feel like relapse is possible at any point, but a balanced lifestyle and integration of my trauma is my best defense for avoiding such a tragic event in the future. I never saw it coming. It shattered myself image and my confidence for a long time. I'm still picking up the pieces. At first I was just trying to hold on and glue them all back together, but I admit they fell apart for a reason. I decided instead to metaphorically melt them all down and reshape everything into something that is more structurally sound. Luckily I have a background in system design

A core concept of Holism is that it incorporates the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and that the parts, unified, constitute a new and unique whole. My 4 bodies unified constitute a new and unique whole, but I am also the designer of my life. The role of the designer is a perspective that stands within the whole and also outside of the whole and thus working to design a better life is Holistic in nature.

I accept that I have the capacity to experience extreme emotional states. I accept that I have the capacity to completely lose my grip on reality. It is my intent though to walk with greater consciousness, see and/or feel it coming, and to make choices to bring myself back to balance before that occurs. Meanwhile, I'm designing a better life for myself that has little to do with my bipolar diagnosis and everything to do with my ideal image for my future.