Please don't think I'm trying to lecture you because that is not the case.

A few things it's a VERY BAD idea to mix the booze with your meds, they can multiply the effects of one another they can also create whole a whole unique ste of actions in combination.

It's not safe at all. Some of what you described feeling wise sounds like this is in fact the case.

As to the depression and drinking there is an old Phrase:
"I drink because I am depressed, because I drink because I am depressed because.......ad infinitum"

Good luck but try to not mix the substances together, they are powerful enough on thier own.

Best,
Stiv