I think there are different kinds of "codepency" traits in individuals that can create problems for them that they don't realize.

My older sister would say SHE was trained to be codependent and she is the oldest child. The problem with her is that she tends to be mean and bossy and she enters a room of people where her presence is TOO CONTROLLING and even negative and unapproachable. My sister's presence NEVER changed from when she was a child where she believed HER WAY had to be THE WAY and people are constantly put off by her. She will say she is compassionate BUT SHE ISN'T. She will say her two younger siblings don't love or care about her, but all she does is COUNT and CONTROL when she is around them. She doesn't KNOW how to be happy FOR her two younger siblings either when they share things they accomplish or have or do. Instead her mentality tends to be resentment for HER not having whatever they have. My sister fails to recognize that she tends to take on some kind of judgement role and she condescends and she can be "fake". Her chant is "poor me, poor me" yet she doesn't realize that no one wants to be around her because of her "attitude". If someone fails to do things or say things HER WAY, she simply ignores them and sits in herself wanting to punish them for somehow offending her. If you suggest something to her that she decides is beneath her? She either ignores or doesn't respond or slowly decides the person is failing to recognize how she is more SUPERIOR than that. Yet, she will lament about "codependancy".

A lot depends on how a person understands codependancy and the role they play that they may not fully understand. My older sister is one I have always had to walk on eggshells around, and my codepency is different from her as she ALWAYS needed to be SUPERIOR. After all she was the oldest child. For myself, certain types of individuals can trigger me, and they typically tend to need to be SUPERIOR. They tend to have an air about them that they don't even know that repel others too.

Sometimes, the role a child is put into can be a lifetime curse they don't even realize.