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Old Jan 27, 2020, 11:26 AM
fern46 fern46 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
Thanks for sharing the article and bringing up this topic, fern. I'll get it out of the way and say that I'm also not a big fan of what Gwenyth Paltrow is doing with this "Goop", but I did look at the article with an open mind, trying to block her out. In the end, though the article was not written exactly how I wish it was written, it did contain substance. It made sense on most all levels.

I aim for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance. I know having a good balance of all DOES make for a healthier and happier me. Many suggestions were reasonable ones, though they don't all rock everyone's boat, and I think that's OK. I'm sure you agree. I used the words "aim for" and not "strive for" because "strive" implies "struggle" in my mind. "Strive" also makes me feel like not achieving a "high grade", in such a pursuit, would be a form of failure. I don't like that pressure. I have put that pressure on myself and suffered the consequences. Yes, I know in the article it specifically references such pressure on oneself as "over-balanced toward Yada Yada", but I wish it was more specific in saying that doing one's best, as you can, is OK. But of course I don't mean becoming resigned to a certain unhealthy mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual state.

Sometimes in my life, the stars do seem to become aligned. Those are lovely days, indeed! But most of the time, there is some imbalance. I try to remind myself what's going right (or not so bad) and take fuel from that to avoid falling apart, or fuel another area. And that's OK. When all areas of my life seem in a deep pit of imbalance, I know I must reach out for as many helpful hands as possible, or take a figurative short nap, but NOT a permanent one!

I know that I must make hard choices sometimes, to help improve balance. That can mean, in my book, giving up something, at least temporarily, that I'd usually be unwilling to give up. Or, doing something else to compensate.

Another thing I've learned is to NOT compare myself to others. We have our own challenges, and many here do have bigger challenges than, let's say perhaps, Gwenyth Paltrow or the author of the article you referenced. However, if one insists on grading themselves on degree of overall balance, some should be given "bonus points" as a starting point. We all know that accomplishment that comes easy is not nearly as admirable as accomplishment that comes hard. My total "system" may never work as efficiently as a more technologically advanced one, but it can start to work closer to its own personal best. Upgrades over time can help. Indeed, a total team can make that happen easier than one person/thing alone. More brain power. Less strain on one person/thing alone. If something/someone is dragging the effort behind, it needs to be replaced or better trained.
Great points as usual BirdDancer. I agree with so much of what you have stated wholeheartedly. I especially like the idea of aiming vs. striving. I like to hold a vision in mind with a general direction without it being so rigid that I lose sight of the essence of what I was aiming for. Very sage advice.

For me, there is and always will be imbalance. Perfection or true balance is not the goal for me at least. It probably wouldn't be very much fun either It is more about sensing where things feel right and where they feel wrong and the interplay between the two. Sometimes imbalance is the exact force we need for change to occur. It isn't a negative thing, but being wildly out of balance to a degree it causes a complete meltdown is hopefully avoidable in the future. Maybe not, but its what I'm aiming for anyhow.

I kind view it like I'm a pendulum swinging around in a circular... Or maybe more of a spiraling motion. I'd like for the curves to be nice and aesthetically pleasing, but the truth is there are sharp edges and major swings back and forth sometimes. I can see the beauty in that motion too.

You are smart not to compare and to instead focus on your own personal system. An upgrade for one can be a virus to another. A virus for one can be the doorway for an amazing system overhaul for someone else. Relativity is a concept I have learned to lean on a lot over the past few years. The force that returns one person to balance can be the very force that implodes someone else's world completely. Finding our own truths and learning to design our own systems takes this truth into account. Using other people's system successes and flaws can serve as lights along a sometimes dark path, but everyone is their own sun.
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote