Thread: not worth it
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Old Apr 09, 2008, 10:55 PM
kmarie kmarie is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: Jersey
Posts: 19
My husband told me last week he didn't love me anymore. He is diagnosed with depression and narcissism. I thought that everything was turning around and he wanted to work on our marriage. We have 2 his, 2 mine, and a new "ours" child. She is just three months old. I have been having the really bad thoughts lately. But I try so hard to look at my new little girl. I am in love with her. She is having medical issues that have been upsetting for me. I want to talk to him, but no talk goes on anymore, no support, just putting me down all the time. I sometimes pray to go manic so I can get everything done. His only job really is to go to work. I am responsible for handling the finances, the children, most of the punishments, whatever comes down the line. When I go to talk about these things or something is bothering me, he doesn't want to listen. I am becoming so overwhelmed and feeling so worthless as a wife and a mother. I am madly in love wtih this man, I can't imagine my life without him. I am just looking for reasons to live. My children do not deserve a mother who is so inadequate. I can't keep up with my responsibilities due to my depression which depresses me more. I would like to just curl up and die most of the time. I am just barely making it through the day trying to hide all this emotion. I feel fake, like I have to put on the happy show in front of the kids with a man who doesn't love me. I really don't want to lose my stepchildren, he knows this and I think he uses it as a catalist. Right now my problems are so many what good am I not worth it.