I'm so sorry you have had to endure all of this tragedy. I recall reading, in your other thread, that you've tried to see counselors and therapists but they have judged you & wouldn't let you finish saying what you needed to say. I'm not a mental health professional. But my personal opinion is that therapy is what is going to be needed here. Perhaps you have not yet found the right therapist for you though?

Sometimes it can take a while to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from PC's archives, on how to choose a good therapist:

How to Choose a Therapist and Other Questions about Psychotherapy

And then here are links to 3 articles: 2 on healing from sexual abuse / assault & 1 that offers tips for healing emotional wounds:

Coping with Sexual Abuse | Psych Central

Healing from Sexual Assault

8 Tips for Healing Emotional Wounds | Happily Imperfect

My best wishes to you...