I had the best therapist. She was awesome. February 2007 I called her office (a friend gave me her number) seeking help. Something was wrong with me and I didn't know what. Later we figured out I was having an anxiety attack.

She helped me tremendously those first few weeks, just so I could focus on functioning at life. I'm not saying I was great at it, but functioning at a level that didn't raise eyebrows. Slowly we unraveled so much about what I was going through, what I had been through, and goals for my future.

She was there when new challenges popped up. Always listening and offering the best advice.

She knew so much of my history that after a while, I'd just start the session with whatever was most troubling me. She knew why I made decisions the way I did and why my boundaries were where they were at. She was there through it all. She knew exactly how to word advice in a way I would accept.


Then last spring she told me she was leaving the field. She needed to focus on self care. She has no plans to return to the therapy world.

I was devastated. She was always there. For 12 years I saw her. She helped me through the darkest of times. I had kids, she had kids. She helped with coping those difficult new life states. But I get it, self care is important. I don't blame her for leaving. It just sucks.

It's been 7 months with my new therapist. It's been going well. But it's not the same. Because I don't want to fill my new therapist in on all my history, I just don't talk about the childhood abuse. Or how it's hard to maintain my boundaries. I don't talk about how it's hard to watch my daughter reach the age I was when the abuse started. I don't talk about the flashbacks. I don't want to spend 45 minuets filling her in on my background/history only to never get to discuss the topic that requires she know that history.

I focus on my professional life during our sessions. I started a new business venture right around when I started seeing her. She has a background in corporate life prior to becoming a therapist so she is very helpful with those challenges.

Will I ever be able to discuss the hard things with my new therapist?