I am so very sorry that you had to go through all of this tragedy, and for what you are still going through. I would agree with Skeezyks that therapy is the right thing for you, although I know in my own experience its hard as you need to find someone who you can trust and feel comfortable with, and that can difficult when you've been through trauma. Hopefully you have a support system around you in the meantime. And please know that you are not alone, there are lots of people here who can relate, and offer support.

Sun x