Oh, no!

Dear Grad0507,

I am just seeing your responses. I am so very sorry.
I hope you are around and I hope participating here at PC is beneficial.

If you "own" the apartment and would like him to leave, you could consult with:

1) Do you have any state office(s) for legal aid?
They generally exist to assist people unable to afford legal advice. They usually will not take a case which is "money-generating." They will not handle malpractice suits, or any suit where there may be a monetary award, for instance.

2)You might consult with a women's shelter/abuse group/office/org in order to see what they may have for advice and/or resources. My local women's support organization/shelter will give a woman in need free access to an attorney, will conference with the woman on the phone if the woman does not want to go to their office and will work with anyone in need w/o asking for a name until/unless some type of a legal action is taken and/or there is a reason to need to have your name.

3)The local women's shelter should have info on what you can and cannot do re: obtaining a restraining order, if you want him to leave. I always advise women to find out all of the details of what will, and what can, happen if an order is served upon the other party. This is usually at very temporary order that is reviewed in front of a judge in a couple of days and the judge decides whether to end or to extend the order.

4) The suicide threat from your husband is very disconcerting, of course.
Many spouses threaten suicide when they realize their spouse is leaving them.
Both parties are experiencing stress and distress, for sure. Often, the suicide threat is meant to control the other spouse. It is so scary for the other spouse can become paralyzed with fear.

Some options might be:

To pursue couples counseling while still together..
To pursue couples counseling while living apart.

No couples counseling.

To pursue your own individualized support therapy while going through all of this stress, etc. Again, I think there may be financial/medical/legal resources for you through any women's shelter/support organization. If you cannot locate one near you, look online, too. If you have a rape crisis center nearby and no women's shelter program, contact the rape crisis center, as they may have a lot of resources to help you through this transition.

5.) Financing divorce with very little money.

Okay, I would again look for a "legal aid" office/program. If you cannot locate one, please contact your State's Attorney General's Office and tell them what you are looking for (free legal aid) and, if necessary, explain more if they might be able to find an org that is a better fit for your needs.

In some states, the Governor's Hotline has similar resources.

My state has a divorce program available online. If there are no disputes and both parties are in agreement, the program gives all of the instructions, the forms to file with the court, etc. for $200.00-$300.00 total.

Last, but NOT LEAST:

There is a program in which people who qualify for the program may ask (3) legal questions. An attorney in your state usually responds with advice. You can usually confer back and forth on a given question if you pay attention to when the attorney has responded and the question is not "closed."

In my state, it goes like this:

I read the guidelines to see if I qualify for the service.
If I do qualify, I make an account on their web site.

I think of the question(s) I want to ask.

I may ask a total of 3 questions and that ends my access to the program.

I ask question #1. I wait and am notified when an attorney has replied on the site. I sign in on the site and read the legal advice. If I need clarification, I can continue with that topic by responding to the attorney just then. This is still considered the first question.

Watch the expiration dates, as you will have 'X" number of days to read the response and to reply without using yet another of your three questions.

Questions 2 and 3 MUST be on different topics altogether. however, if you think through your questions, it may be possible to get your questions addressed while still on the generalized topic (divorce, for example).

You may keep your account on the site and read back through legal advice given to you. The written responses will remain in your account (their site) for a time frame determined by their program.

Just be very strategic about how you ask questions in order to get the max amount of info in the responses given. You can use all three questions in one inquiry. You may use one question and not use another for months, etc.

Note: This is how it works for my state. Please pay close attention to the directions given for your state on the site below:

Free Legal Answers

if you have difficulty with the site and/or if you ask a question and it is not answered in the timeframe given by the site guidelines, see if there is a place on the site to contact someone about your concerns.

If this program is not set up in your state and your state also has no legal aid program, you can contact the Bar Association in your state and explain your need(s). Please do tell them you have tried the ABA's free legal answers site.

I do know of at least 2 members of PC who were helped by the ABA's free legal answer site, as well as one helped by their state's bar association.

I do hope there is a resource or two here which will help you.

I am very sorry about your situation. I am additionally sorry your spouse is threatening suicide. Please try to realize this threat is also a form of abuse.
I am not saying do not be concerned; this type of a threat is hard to deal with and might hold any one of us "hostage" to relationships/marriages which are toxic and/or abusive.

I wish you the very best.