Hi everyone,
I've been reading with interest some recent posts in the check in thread here and I also posted briefly about my experience with more than one therapist. I knew little or nothing about therapy when I first consulted a therapist. (My first mistake )

I have not found a therapist who wanted to listen to me with respect and compassion and to help me to explore painful areas and to maybe heal. I feel that the therapist who hurt me the most was in fact using me for ''feed'' (I mentioned this in the check in thread and Wild Coyote kindly replied and agreed with me that it might be an idea for a thread). This therapist and I did work together quite well for quite a long time. Over time though his knee jerk reactions to me, cold and harsh words and sub optimal interpretations became more frequent. He also did some things which in my opinion were very unethical.

My parental units also did not treat me with respect and compassion

I am considering looking for another therapist (this would be therapist number 3 or 4).

I am not sure how to ensure that a therapist I consult is not another person who becomes judgmental and/or rejecting if they do not get the results they want, on their schedule, or just if they become irritated. I do not think I was an especially ''annoying'' client (whatever that is)… I am sure the therapist who hurt me has helped many people, however I was not one of them. He also said something very mean about an acquaintance of mine. I think that was unethical. (there are many more examples of less than optimal behaviour, words etc from him and another therapist I consulted) I don't think this would be helpful to anyone, particularly someone who already has trust issues, as I had (and still do)

I wonder if the painful and sub optimal experience I had with this therapist in particular has taught me something.... to show respect and compassion to others, whether or not I find them ''endearing'' … I was still a cub in some ways when I first saw this person. I am not at all sure that he was equipped to offer long term therapy with me, the fit between us was not good. I think I needed (and still need probably) someone more compassionate and nurturing, who also pushed me a bit. (but not pushed me ''out'' of the door with mean words... )

I have been wondering about ''internal family systems'' therapy. I have noticed a couple of posts about that recently, one in this part of the forum.

I wonder how much to tell a therapist if I consult yet another therapist. I think one of the things that went ''wrong'' in this therapy was that I was guarded with the therapist (having already been burnt by another professional ) but how not to be guarded with them having been hurt by them, and are my ''defences'' in fact ''too many defences'' as T2 suggested

Hugs and respect to all