Thanks for responding to my post and calling me brave. I don’t feel very brave at this moment. Like you I tried everything except ECT. The amazing aspect of it is how it lifts the depression so quickly. That’s what makes it so hopeful for suicide attempts. I’m going for my 5th infusion tomorrow. The first infusion lasted a week and I was so full of hope. I did more in a week than I had in two months. Furnished my entire apartment with some great things from Goodwill. But the last 3 lasted anywhere from 2 to 5 days before falling into a slump again. I’m supposed to go on maintenance after my 6th and I’m getting worried. I’m grateful that at least there is something that can shorten my episodes of depression from 2-8weeks to instant relief. I’ll be able to work. But it’s expensive as you know. I can’t afford to pay $350 every time I get depressed. Tomorrow I will ask the doc if he would be open to prescribing ketamine nasal spray as maintenance for me. It has less availability but I’ll take 70% over 100%. I don’t want to disillusion anyone because I believe in the research and I am getting some relief. I wonder if stress diminishes the lasting effects. My doc said to take it easy the day of the infusion and rest but I saw a YouTube video where a woman stressed complete rest without stress more than he did. I’ve been having some family stress and I’m starting to think that it’s decreasing my results. It’s like my brain isn’t getting a chance to heal and form new synapses. So I hope he’ll be open to the spray. It’s about $50 at a compounding pharmacy. I know what you mean about trying something new. But I can’t give up. I’ve seen some positive results and it’s given me some hope. Sorry again about the long response. No response necessary. This is the first time I’ve talked about it to people who I can relate to and who can relate to me. I’ll keep you posted.