Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote
I am guessing your dad confronts her now and then and since her behaviors are just fine, of course, he is the one most in need of psychological assistance.
I hope your mom sees the light and stops enabling. Although, I am very sorry to say I rarely see an enabler stop their own behaviors, as they derive some sort of a gain from enabling to begin with. The very best thing would most likely be family counseling.
It often sounds like you are an "observer" and you watch the chaos, but try to stay out of the fray? I think any approach which spares you the most is a wise approach.
You are a gifted "thinker" and "analyzer." You share a lot on an intellectual level about this situation. I would choose to report and to relate in the same way.
I am concerned about the feelings you may be experiencing, behind/underneath the thinking/analyzing?
I'm not asking you to share those feelings here, unless you wish to do so.
I do think it may be well worth your time/energy to take a look at your feelings around this family situation with your therapist? You may have already done so.  If so, fantastic! 
I, personally, would have quite a mix of feelings about the chaos, the family dynamics, etc. Yet, I do realize we are different people and may have very different viewpoints and different feelings about situations like this.
Again, just concerned about how all of this affects you and your welfare.
I think you know my heart is in the right place, even if I am not expressing myself so well today?   |
My mom will probably continue to enable. I want to be optimistic and say she'll stop, but she enables in secret sometimes and then my dad and I find out later on that she has been enabling my sister. So I think these problems will continue as long as my mom continues to enable her. My mom has to learn how to stop, and I have tried numerous times to get her to stop, as has my dad, but she "feels bad" and continues to enable. So in that sense, I would say my mom is the root of the problems, not my sister. My sister just takes advantage of whatever is given to her because she is a sh_tty person.
There are two kinds of people: if someone drops a $20 bill on the ground and doesn't realize it, then the person who sees it fall either keeps it or gives it back. My sister would be the kind to keep it and run away.
And yeah, I observe. My sister and dad try to drag me into their drama, and then they both get mad at me when I don't say what they want to hear. I mean, I will be fair and say that my dad is not 100% innocent all the time, but my sister triggers him with her b_tchy behavior and the he gets exasperated and snaps. But who wouldn't get exasperated and snap when your own daughter is taunting you, saying the things she said yesterday?
It does stress me out, being dragged into this crap. I love my parents, but I don't want to be around them when my sister is there because she picks fights with my dad. I wish I could say I love my sister, but she treats everyone like sh_t (except for my mom, for obvious reasons), and she never ever talks to me unless she wants something. I will literally call her and text her, and she won't respond. I then have to call my mom to call her so that my mom can tell her to call me back. (This is because she takes advantage of my mom all the time, so she is VERY responsive to her.) But then when she needs money for something, she calls me like 3 times until I pick up the phone and she sends a barrage of texts.