I’m unqualified, undeserving, incapable, and inadequate as a mother. I feel like a hopeless mess that is going to screw up the lives of everyone in my path.

I took the Trintellix tonight for the first time. I took it with food but I still feel sick. Hopefully nothing comes of that. I don’t see myself sleeping tonight and it’s kind of too late to take klonapin as I have to be up to get the kids on the bus tomorrow.

My t called my pdoc and they discussed IOP for me again and we kind of decided we would put off the decision until this weekend as my husband is off tomorrow and Thurs and I can hang out with my mom on Fri. More than likely with their company I can hold my head a little higher.

I’m tired of my hands shaking. I’m just tired of it. I know it’s a necessary evil but I hate it. You should see me trying to reheat a full cup of coffee in the microwave...it’s quite appalling.

Sorry for taking up another thread for seemingly no reason but I need the extra support. I feel like I need to die and I have such a significant mix of internal sadness and rage against myself. The sadness comes from my insecure, grotesque core. The rage comes from my angry, resentful mind. Both are trembling inside. I can hardly handle it.