I am sorry that things didn't go well today. You might want to find ways to distract yourself from contacting him or his office staff. You could call the crisis hotline instead. I state this because it sounds like you are contacting them too much. If I remember correctly, you had a problem with excessively emailing your former psychiatrist. You don't want to get into trouble again nor do you want him to stop seeing you. Or he may just no longer allow email or any contact between sessions. I know some therapists do operate that way. Anyway, by constantly breaking his boundaries, the aforementioned could happen.

I am not saying any of this to be mean. I am saying this to help you avoid further pain.