Just let the feelings be the feelings for awhile. They’re just feelings; they won’t actually hurt you. They are just uncomfortable. They will start to subside just given a little time and space.

I agree that not consistently staying on your medications is adding to your problems. Going off meds once can create issues simply from discontinuation, but the on and off and on and off actually creates more issues than that and can start making the medications even less effective. You wrote in another thread about wanting him to put you on depakote, but the issue you have of not being consistent with your medications is another reason that is not a good idea. Can you speak to the person responsible for your trust about needing access to more funds to repair your car and maintain your health? It seems like something could be done there.