Ooooh, I was meaning to ask how old she is. And there it is: old enough to kicked out and left to her own devices. I realize it's unlikely, given your mother's enabling, but imo, it's the only thing that even has a chance of bringing her down to the planet the rest of us live on.

I wonder (because I'm a bit prone to enabling myself) if it's not so much wanting to give her everything she wants as being afraid of the repercussions if NOT doing so. IOW, afraid to stand up to. Not judging, I've very much been there myself.

I have to admit I do rather look forward to her eventual comeuppance.

I also worry how this effects YOU. Sending good vibes.

It's hard to believe you guys grew up in the same house!

Good luck with your car!

EDITED TO ADD -- now that I've caught up reading the posts between when I wrote most of the above (lunch) through after work when I finished it (or, apparently not, lol!).... Your description of your mother's actions/inactions sounds otherwise motivated. Mine are fear-based. I truly don't get anything out of it. Doing because of "feeling bad" sounds like something else. But I'm not a T of course...

Regardless, I am SO sorry you are being pulled into this drama.