Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
As a parent, it's distressing and frustrating because really what you've done is all you can do. You can advise and encourage him to leave or do something about it, but in the end it's his decision. It's hard because you just cannot control the situation and make something happen even if you are indeed right and know what would be best. I suggest shielding yourself from this and learning to cope with the idea that your son is with someone you believe is a cheater.
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*whew* you're post brought me relief. relief that i am, realistically, doing all i can do. it is exactly what i was thinking and exactly what i am conditioning myself, daily, to do.
the heartbreak, distress and frustration are still there, probably always will be unless he gains the strength and courage to leave her, but it is a bit easier for me to breath with the fact of knowing it is, in all honesty, out of my hands.
in talking with him, he still sees good in her. and i know, having dealt with a cheater for the majority of my marriage, those are the things we dwell on to survive the days. one day of happiness overrides weeks of misery. so sad to see my son slipping into the same situation (worse, actually, my ex wasn't involved in shady practices) as i had endured for 20+ years.
i will continue daily to remove myself mentally from the situation, but continue to be available and love ,unconditionally, my son and granddaughter.
thank you for your kind words.