It feels good to read other peoples feedback on this. I have been almost going a bit nuts, he stands so firmly and easily firm and is so confident, I of course doubt and question my self in the state I am.
It's also hard because I am a 38 year old woman with no children, but I want to have children. I guess now, especially if I will be single, I might never have any (in time).
Anyways, thank you Bill for your words.