Thank you all for the support and encouraging messages! I am currently in the waiting room for my son’s therapy appt. They are in the toy room doing play therapy and I can hear him playing with the trains. He is asking her to do this every time and she agrees. I do hope they are getting to the root of his “bad thoughts” and processing this while doing this work. I am going to call his therapist tomorrow just to check in.

I saw my amazing t today. She made me feel much better for a time. We just havened, something we do frequently that calms me considerably. But, she also reminded me that despite how I’m feeling, I’m still taking care of the kids the same. Still greeting them, still cooking dinner, still doing homework, still getting baths and bedtime routines done in a reasonable time. It doesn’t matter if I “feel” like laying on the couch all day crying, I’m not doing it. I’m doing what I have to do, even dragging my feet, even with a less than jovial attitude. She said no one is always in a positive mood. And she said, if I feel like a terrible mom, if I begin to obsess over this, to measure the actual data, not how I’m feeling. So, that lifted my spirits some. As a matter of fact, I have been in a decent mood ever since. Hopefully tonight will be the same. Like I mentioned, my husband will be off again tomorrow which means he’s on the same sleeping schedule as me also so I’ll have company. Then tomorrow early afternoon we have lunch plans with a friend. Hopefully the support will continue to help.