Hey, Imlost1721

I feel like I can relate to some of your story. And while I can't really give advice because of the reasons listed by the previous responder, I can tell you a little bit about my story and what helped me.

I was homeschooled and my mom had health issues that stopped her from placing me in group activities (many homeschooled kids, despite public opinion, are very socialized... my mom tried, but she was dealing with too much on her own so I didn't get that). When I graduated, I was extremely shy and very anxious. Some of that, I think, stemmed from the fact that since I hadn't had much interaction with other kids my age, I didn't know how I would compare. I had no clue about how to act or what people would think was normal. Basically, I had almost no frame of reference for how to be.

After a long period of floundering and staying at home all the time, my mom pushed me to put in applications and I got my first job at a small grocery store. They didn't really do much of an interview, to my relief. I guess they had a lot of turnover and just needed people. I figured out the actual job pretty quickly, but I didn't find out until later that I almost got fired for not talking to customers enough when I was running register. However, before that could happen, one of my coworkers started talking to me and invited me to hang out with his group of friends. I almost didn't go, and I was so nervous that I didn't really talk. However, to my surprise, they accepted me anyway and gave me time to open up. Eventually, they got me playing D&D with them and I became more comfortable. Several of them worked at the grocery store, so becoming comfortable with them lessened my anxiety at work a little bit overall, especially since I was learning how to act in public. I know that him befriending me was random chance, but what I would say to you is that if someone tries to interact with you when you start a job, if you don't have a bad feeling about them (like if you can tell they're a good person), maybe take them up on it because it could really help.

When working with customers directly, I found that it takes time to feel comfortable. You may not be one of those people who can just banter about random stuff and make friends with anybody (I certainly am not), but I have become pretty competent working in retail simply by shuffling a set of appropriate phrases. ("Hi, how are you today? Great! Can I help you find anything? Is this what you're looking for? Alright, let me know if you need anything! Have a nice day!") And that's okay too.

I stayed at that job for three years, but they were paying minimum wage so I moved on to my job now, at a large hardware store. I know you said you checked for stocking jobs, but have you checked with hardware stores, too? If you're not comfortable working with people directly yet, jobs in stocking or receiving are really great. Also, at my store there are dedicated positions for loaders, who only load stuff like mulch or other heavy items. I used to work out in the outdoor loading area, and let me tell you- I got way more healthy and fit. The first few weeks were rough, but after that it was smoother sailing physically. Most hardware stores are hiring this time of year while gearing up for spring, and although most of the jobs will be posted as seasonal, at the end of the season they keep many people on.

I hate interviews! I have only done a couple, so I don't know if my experience is general or how other interviewers would respond, but one thing that helped me was to just say something like, "I'm sorry! I'm a little nervous. Let me think about that for just a second so I think of a good example/give you a solid answer." The hard part is then focusing to think up something while they're looking at you, but at least there's a couple of extra seconds, and if they're understanding they may say something nice to help put you at ease.

And last but not least, don't forget that you are amazing. You may not be exactly where you want to be, but you are just as worthy now of having friends and a good job as you will be when you finish your excellent list of goals (what do you like to read? I love reading). And don't be afraid to be yourself- you'll be more likely to attract people with similar interests that you can connect with if you want to. Good luck!