Hi guys!
My name is Reina. I’m 25 yo... I’ve been struggling with what I’ve self diagnosed as social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been a terribly outgoing person but I also wouldn’t consider myself an introvert. I am a middle child of 3. My other siblings have literally 20+ people in their lives that they would consider “friends” and I have about 2. They both really enjoy going out whereas I prefer to stay in. I’ve always felt like I was never good at making friends; I just could never really mesh with anyone. I never really fit in. But at the same time I don’t feel the NEED to fit in. I’m completely content being by myself. In fact I find it quite peaceful. It’s wasn’t until recently that I decided I needed to be a little more outgoing. I’m in a committed relationship, I’m trying to move along in my career... and I’ve noticed that in both of these situations a little networking is imperative for success.

My boyfriend has loads of friends, not that he sees all the time but when a friend and his gf/wife are in town, he wants to go out. And I honestly don’t want to. I’d almost rather he go and leave me home. I find most social situations to be exhausting. The fake smiling, fake being interested in the conversation, trying to find something to talk about, etc... I’d rather be taking a bubble bath and give myself a facial! LOL. Adding more to that, alcohol is usually involved. Which lowers inhibitions, which perhaps leads me to be a little more forthcoming than I usually am ( I’m a very private person ). So the next day when I realize what I said or did was something out of my ordinary, I almost get depressed. “Why did I do that?” “Why did I say that?”. Now keep in mind, I don’t do anything necessarily embarrassing. In fact I more or less become the life of the party... but because it’s out of my comfort zone I feel jaded and guilty. That one night out will rule my life for days! My boyfriend is a very caring, loving person. He always feels responsible for making my life his life, but I don’t want this problem to become his burden... I know that’s not fair.

In regards to work I know that I must be more outgoing in order to start building relationships with people that can help me move along. Again, I’m very private, but I’ve found at work people (especially your superiors) truly want to get to know you. Perhaps I’m afraid, perhaps I’m too skeptical... I don’t know what it is but I hate sharing. I’d rather talk about anything else than myself.
Anyway, I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way. If you do, if you know someone who does... I’m open to any and all advice. Someone once told me that I just need to stop caring so much about what people think. I never thought of myself as that person but maybe I am.. I don’t know... just help!

Thanks for reading!