hey guys, lately i’ve noticed that i might have some problems in forming relationships. i used to just blame it on astrology (my gemini venus especially haha) but i think it’s more than that? i can’t keep friendships as well.

usually, i would go on a few dates with a guy but once they start getting interested and somewhat invested in the relationship, i get scared. i don’t really know how to describe because i’ve never talked about this but it just triggers my fight or flight response. If they say they like me or they wanna date, i run away and avoid? i really don’t want to get hurt, i really don’t want to get abused. of course, i can’t really tell anyone that because the words won’t come out, i’d really like my friends and potential boyfriends or girlfriends to hear my truth and to be honest, but i physically can’t say any words?

i really love my friends and i’m interested in the people i go out with but i can’t communicate it, i can’t express any emotions. there was a time where after this slightly very traumatic event, i couldn’t feel any emotions except for maybe fear for a while so i have a little trouble expressing myself. this has been a little difficult because i want to be loved and surrounded by people i love but it only feels like i’m getting further away from them because i’m scared all the time.

please feel free to share your thoughts! i hope u guys have a nice day