Sometimes I feel like I'm not really grieving my cat.

I feel like I'm sad about a whole lot of things, including the inevitable passing of time, my own mortality, the fact I live with my parents still, my social isolation, the meaninglessness of life, the fact that my life has no direction right now.

The death of the cat just brings all of that into focus.

I do miss my cat of course, she was a good companion, but I don't think it's just about her. When she was alive I just saw her as a distraction, and I enjoyed taking care of her in her old age. She would've been only about 12 though.

When I miss her, I just have mild sadness. With this grief, I am obsessed with all kinds of thoughts, that have me crying all day.

Mostly I think it's about social isolation I guess, because I feel overwhelmed by loneliness. It's sort of the same feeling when I finished therapy, or finished high school. Feeling alone, and then having to deal with sadness alone, plus the inevitability of loss, makes it all seem overwhelming.

I guess the only solution there is to maybe try and connect more with other people, or find some sort of purpose or a job, so that at least I'm not isolated and aimless if I experience loss again.

Anyone else have any thoughts?