We teach people how to treat us based on what we allow to become habit. There are many behaviors that have been allowed to become habit in the past 8 years. What responsibility are you willing to take with regards to behaviors that perhaps you did not confront or challenge (that ultimately hurt you and broke you down psychologically).

You can’t change his abusive nature. He ya to want to change it, and so far, he hasn’t had any reason (in the past 8 years) to change. What you have 100% control of changing though is how you respond to his abuse. Wanting to save and work on the relationship is not giving him a strong enough sign that you are fed up with his mistreatments. Forgiving him or refusing to speak up and draw boundaries, does not show him that what he is doing is against your rights and dignity as a human being.

I hope you find the strength to listen to your inner voice and follow its lead. 8 years of emotional manipulation and tearing someone down does for sure deplete any will power to stand strong and perhaps leave. But as long as you are alive, you have a chance for a new start. You may have to leave him but you gain yourself all over again and you get to relearn who you are and what value you have within.

Stay blessed and stay safe!