Thanks for the reply! Feel like can relate to you a bit more. Thanks for the hope. Although reading has always been something I enjoy it's hard convincing myself to actually do it for some reason. But when I do I feel like it is time well spent. So because i don't feel like I am in a well place at the moment I find myself reading a lot of cheesy self-help books lol. Currently reading one called Not Nice! pretty much a book trying to stir you away from always being so agreeable to people. You know valuing other people's opinion more than your own, Not saying no when you want to, just little things like that. Try to turn it around. I've been watching this guy named Jordan Peterson on youtube. He is a psychologist and I really don't even know what to say he just MAKES SENSE. He's is/was a college professors and there is a bunch of lectures of his on youtube. About all types of different topics. He tends to make complex ideas sound like common sense. Point being he has this book called "12 rules to life", and I really want to check it out for my next read since I spent so much time watching his videos. Other than that I love Harry Potter and I like books where a character goes through alot in the beginning of a story, to make it through to brighter days. One example of this was this book I read, not too long ago."A Man Called Ove" It was pretty much about a 60 something-year-old man who trys to kill himself in 4 or 5 different ways. But everytime he tries, he seemingly always gets interrupted by his neighbors. Then the story reveals he recentlly lost the love of his life. The woman he'd been married to for years and years. And he couldn't possibly imagine living in a world without her. So he decides what is the point(A thought I find myself in a lot). So he ends up building a relationship out of his neighbors constantly interruping his attempts to off himself. So much to the point the neighbor's kids in the story started calling him "Grandpa", It was from then on he went back to wanting to LIVE. Aside from my pretty bad summary there. The point is, even with nothing in his life, No love, friends all gone or sick from old age. He still managed somehow to find meaning in his life. Even if he wasn't searching for it. I like to read things that inspire me. Like your reply for example