Hi there! As the title says, I've been feeling really confused about my gender identity as of late and would really appreciate some help. I'd especially appreciate it if some NB people saw this and were willing to help, but if you're not NB and have something to say go ahead! Honestly any feedback would be nice lol

And I'd appreciate it if feedback was gentle and nonjudgmental!

Some terms in case anyone reading this is unfamiliar with them:
AFAB: Assigned Female At Birth
PCOS: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

Now, onto the meat of the issue:

I'm AFAB and have always felt pretty comfortable identifying as female. I very much like being perceived as female and being referred to as "she/her." Sure, because of my sexuality (it's complicated) I often wish I had different genitals, but that's not a big deal. But I've also felt this weird disconnect from my gender. I don't feel it all the time, but sometimes, when I really think about my gender, I get this disconnected feeling. If anyone here has experienced derealization before, it's sort of like that. More specifically, the feeling of a "film" between yourself and the world. It's like that, but with gender.

Another issue is that I have PCOS, which means that my testosterone levels are higher than the average AFAB person would typically have, causing me to have some more masculine traits. To be honest, I've even wanted to go for another blood test to see what my testosterone levels are. My original blood tests for diagnosis of PCOS had that information, but they get discarded after about a year, and it's been a few years. But yeah, because of the masculine traits, I often don't feel "feminine enough." But then that leads us to the issue of "am I genderqueer or do I just not perfectly fit into society's mould of what a girl is?"

I've been thinking that, if I'm not a girl, I'm a demigirl. But I am AFAB and don't really feel a connection with masculinity. I mean, maybe I do? I don't know, I definitely don't feel a connection with the stereotypical macho, beer-loving, tough idea of masculinity. I MAYBE feel a WEAK connection with "soft" masculinity, but that's doubtful at best.

I know that AFAB demigirls are valid and all that, but what if I'm just a confused cis girl invading the genderqueer space? But at the same time, thinking of myself as a demigirl feels... good. Satisfying.

I've been thinking about this a lot as of late, and it's been kind of stressful. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm sure that there's more to say, but I can't remember, if that's the case.

Thank you to anyone who's read this far! I hope you all have a lovely day